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Life Changes
After working for years, a hooker finally retired. Being afraid of spending the rest of her life alone, she decided she wanted to get married. She had been with so many perverted men over the years that she felt she needed a change and would only get one by marrying a virgin male near her age.
She took out ads in newspapers around the world seeking a male virgin who was 55 years old. She finally narrowed her choice to an Australian computer programmer.
After a thorough background check, she was satisfied that he had indeed never been with a woman and they were married. On their wedding night, she went into the bathroom to change into her nightie.
When she came back out, she found that her new husband had taken the bed and everything in the room and stacked it in one corner of the room. Thinking this was rather kinky, she said to her husband, "I thought you had never been with a woman before."
He replied, "That's true, but if it's anything like screwing a kangaroo, we're going to need all the room we can get!"
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Fifty-six percent of women carry condoms. The other 44% carry babies! -- Jay Leno
[ Play a quick game! ]
Spank The Frank!
Oliver the Elf, foreman at the Kringle Toy Factory #7, is up to his usual shenanigans. This time, he has tricked his dim-witted sidekick Frank the Penguin and his brothers Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank and Frank (penguins aren't to creative with their names) into playing the game Spank the Frank. The object is very simple - safely spank Frank into the floating baskets for points. Miss the baskets and you'll be singing "another Frank bites the dust."
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