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[Previous Joke: "A Day At The Park"] [Main Index] [Next Joke: "What do you want for Christmas?"]
Signs Your Spouse Is Sleeping With Santa
* Instead of cookies and milk, she leaves out a fifth of Scotch and edible panties.
* Comes home with tinsel stuck between her teeth and Claus marks on her back.
* Of the 200 presents for her under the tree, you bought three of them.
* Never very adventuresome in bed, she suddenly asks if you want to do it "reindeer style."
* Her picture is prominently featured on santasbitches.com.
* Every day after work, elves block you in traffic to keep you from getting home too early.
* She's shaved her pubic hair into the shape of a little chimney.
* Tells you that you would look a lot sexier if you grew a beard and added 150 pounds.
* Every December 24th it's the same routine: She puts on a teddy and sits on the roof.
* Her ears perk up every time she hears Ho Ho Ho!
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"If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that." -- Milton Jones
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Meatball Madness
Welcome to Marco's Pasta Place! Marco, a former soccer kicking legend, was forced to retire due to a severe injury received during a freak accident while performing with the circus (Don't mention the word "elephant"). Marco still loves to entertain customers with his amazing kicking skills and sometimes encourages customers to give it a try. Keep Marco's spicy meatballs from falling on the floor by kicking them in the air.
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