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Germs
Four-year-old Johnny was eating a hot dog when he dropped it on the floor.
He quickly picked it up and was about to take another bite when his mom said, "No, Johnny, you can't eat that now it has germs."
Johnny pondered the thought a moment and replied, "Jesus, germs, and Santa Claus - that's all I ever hear about and I haven't seen one of 'em yet!"
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I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. -- An English Professor, Ohio University
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Holiday Endurance
Your nutty relatives have shown up on your doorsteps. Sure it's a time for giving, but they are so demanding. Give 'em what they want, when they want it and get 'em out of the house before Mother's holiday dinner hits the table.
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