| Home |
|
|
|
| Hooverdog.com : Bad Joke : Comparing Stories |
|
|
|
||||
[Previous Joke: "It Could Be Worse"] [Main Index] [Next Joke: "Bring Me A Sample"]
Comparing Stories
Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died.
lst woman: I froze to death.
2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected my husband was cheating on me, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So what happened then?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched all over, then down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over the a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer - we would both be alive.
(Thank you Donna for Today's joke)
================
When someone cuts a good one in a crowded elevator or bus, the waft can be almost suffocating. For hundreds of cattle on long voyages across the globe, such gassy emissions have been lethal. Cows fart themselves to death by emitting fatally high levels of ammonia during the lengthy trips. In the cramped, hot and poorly ventilated cattle holds, the ammonia-rich gas can quickly cause respiratory problems and death. A cause for concern was raised last year when one voyage found fatalities to 900 cows. So, next time you have to let one rip in a small, crowded area, try to hold it in; you could be saving lives.
[ Play a quick game! ]
Adventure Elf
Frank and his penguin pals have raided Santa's sleigh, mistaking the shiny wrapped gifts for giant cans of tuna (what bird-brains). Your objective is to navigate Oliver the Elf through the city of Kringleville and chase down those penguins to reclaim the stolen loot.
Search Jokes:
Copyright Hooverdog.com 2003