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[Previous Joke: "A Horse and a Chicken"] [Main Index] [Next Joke: "Peggy Sue"]
DAMN good Definitions!
ADULTERY - The wrong people doing the right thing.
ALIMONY - The screwing you get for the screwing you got.
CHIVALRY - A mans inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.
CONSCIENCE - That which hurts when everything else feels so good.
CONSTIPATION - To have and to hold.
DIVORCE - What happens when two people cannot stomach each other any longer.
DECOY - A flashlight in the pants pocket.
ENEMA - A goose with a gush.
EXPLORATION - Beating around the bush.
GLAMOUR GIRL - a much publicized young thing who is full of oomf, and frequently full of other things; one who doesn't worry about the meat shortage.
HUSBAND - What is left after the nerve has been killed.
KEPT WOMAN - One who wears mink all day and fox all night.
MINUTE MAN - One who double parks while he visits a sporting house.
MORNING - The time of day when the rising generation retires, and the retiring generation arises.
DONKEY BARBECUE- Where everybody gets a piece of ass.
NUN - A woman who ain't never had none, don't want none, and ain't going to get none.
NURSE - A pan handler.
NURSERY - A place to park last years fun until it grows up a bit.
PAPOOSE - Consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket.
PIMP - A crack salesman; a nookie bookie.
PREGNANCY - When a woman is all swelled up from her mate's handiwork.
RHUMBA - An asset to music.
SECRETARY - A stenographer who watches her periods.
SIN - Anything the other fellow enjoys and you don't.
SISSY - A man who gets out of the bath tub to take a leak.
SPRING FEVER - When the iron in your blood turns to lead in your pencil.
STORK - The bird that had none of the fun in bringing the babies.
TAXIDERMIST - A man who mounts animals.
TOMCAT - A ball bearing mouse trap.
TRIPLETS - Having to take seriously what was poked at you in fun.
VIRGIN WOOL - Wool from a sheep that can outrun a sheep herder.
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There are three things you cannot describe without using your hands: a spiral stairway, an accordion, and a woman's figure.
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